Constant Reinvention

I faced a realization yesterday. As we were resting at Starbucks, I realized that for once I feared the gym. Anytime I get bored or angry frustrated I work on my applications for grad school. I even had time yesterday to reactivate my AMCAS application for medical school. I mean it's the exact same format as PharmCas, so I might as well do it, right? So although most schools have a August, September or even early October deadline, there are still some allopathic Medical School's that are accepting ,even November 30, December 1st, December 15th deadlines, which is definitely plenty of time to submit. I mean, 1/35 chance is all I need, right? Meaning, there are 35 schools with these open deadlines. All I need is 10 or so secondaries and only 1 to offer me a ticket in.

However, back to the main point, in times of lonliness, boredom, frustration, I would drive straight to the gym, multitask some cardio with some ESPN or even do a weight circuit. After even just a 30 minute workout, I come out walking on air, refreshed and calm.

I realized that I no longer walk into the gym, because I am scared of the large gap between what was and what is. More recently, I found out that the nerves innervating my intercostals that originate near my midback are inflammed, meaning that I have a limited range of motion with any obliques or torque motion. Not to mention, imagine not being able to breathe deeply, as the same muscles that line your diaphragm are sore. These muscles aren't sore from a hard core workout, but get numb when I sleep in a certain position, or twist or move my arms too fast. It is now at the point where sometimes, I can't even move when I'm driving sometimes because my right goes numb. I feel so limited and cripple and is only now that I realize how important my own health is.

This only makes me thing What if I can't even Olympic lift anymore? What if I go into 24 and attempt to do squats and can only do the bar now? Before, the bar would be part of my "dynamic warmup," as it properly called, with t-rows, hang cleans, front squats before I would do combo lifts with snatches, clean and jerks and overhead squats. All of which were done with weights. Ahhhhhhhh, there was once a time, when we (Nancy and I) would do 2 plates on each side for freeweight squats, only after opening up with a Plyometric routine. We were so gung-ho about pushing it to the limit at one time, people would come up to us and ask for tips.

Now, I fear what I am capable of. Meaning I know that what I do with my routines are going to be 60% or less of what I was once capable of. I guess this may be a defeatist attitude, but I realize that the working out is about constant reinvention.

Reinventing your workouts to prevent plateaus. Reinventing your limits and new personal standards. Reinventing one's starting point and method of action.

We will see how much blood, sweat and tears I face @ the gym this week.

See you Los Cab
- Nicole